First off, I'm sorry for missing last night, being the last regular season game, not to mention missing out on Head Homo's brand new rainbow-brite bowling ball (don't worry, Hale sent me a picture). As an apology, I offer up a picture of a popsicle I ate that looked like a penis, or as I'm now calling it, Cock-Lollie. Most of you may have already seen it on facebook, so not really even a good apology at that.
So now, with the regular season over, we are off to the playoffs! Which means that the #1 & #2 teams have an automatic spot, while the 3rd, 4th, 5th, & 6th place teams must battle it out - anyone could win! It's crrrrrazy. So first up, next week is scheduled as the wild card game, where 3rd place and 6th place play, and 4th & 5th place play -- just to clarify, for those who were confused last season, this means only the winning teams advance to the semi-finals, which are the following week, then the finals, which will decide who will be the proud owner of the El Dorado Cup (pictures also attached - you cannot be the proud owner of my cock-lollie, because I already ate it). Sigh, remember when my team won last season? Tonight We Strike!, R.I.P. And if you really need an extra incentive, you also get to drink from the cup in a holy and religious ceremony.
So! Now that we all understand what's happening (nod your head, even if you don't) - a couple of points:
--We'll have to wait til Brofman has time to do the final stats/standings, but unless something crazy happened last night, it looks like Minds in the Gutter and the Dicks have a guaranteed spot in the semi-finals. You can still come and bowl next week during the Wild Card game, but it won't count for anything, unless you have some side bets, which the league fully condones.
--Next Monday is the premiere of BL Season 12. While a lot of us aren't necessarily affected, one of our wild card seeds, Sunshine & the O'Neals, is directly affected, because two of their best players, Lappy & Lil' Patrick, produced the premiere episode, and Reveille is throwing a premiere party that night. It would be kinda awkward if the two guys who produced the episode weren't there. So here are the two options before us:
--Do we take a week off next week and bowl for fun, and push the wild card game to the following week, 9/26?
or
--Do we have Sunshine & the O'Neals and whoever they're playing (probably Korpacz's Kids) do a make-up game during the week, so that playoffs go as scheduled?
Lastly, alternates! I have not forgotten about you. For those who don't have an assigned team, and would still love to come bowling and enjoy themselves, you can still bowl during playoffs - your scores will not count, but you will have a good time regardless. However - a couple of things:
--I think Steve-O should be considered one of The Dicks until Rick Shirey's injury is healed. Steve-O, you have been exonerated of your party foul, but you are now a Dick, and your scores shall count.
--Le Bunny is from hereforth an official member of All the Queens Men and her scores shall counteth for the remainder of the playoff season. I crown you Queen Le Bunny.
--All the Queens' Men are allowed to pick up a fifth-counting member of their team, since JerSean is sadly gone. Said member should be an equivalent average to JerSean. Perhaps Santa will come back to their team?
Ok! That's all I got - as soon as we know the official standings for 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th place teams, I'll send a separate email to Sunshine & the O'Neals and the team they are playing so we can decide what to do about next week.
Cock-lollies!
-The Commish
So now, with the regular season over, we are off to the playoffs! Which means that the #1 & #2 teams have an automatic spot, while the 3rd, 4th, 5th, & 6th place teams must battle it out - anyone could win! It's crrrrrazy. So first up, next week is scheduled as the wild card game, where 3rd place and 6th place play, and 4th & 5th place play -- just to clarify, for those who were confused last season, this means only the winning teams advance to the semi-finals, which are the following week, then the finals, which will decide who will be the proud owner of the El Dorado Cup (pictures also attached - you cannot be the proud owner of my cock-lollie, because I already ate it). Sigh, remember when my team won last season? Tonight We Strike!, R.I.P. And if you really need an extra incentive, you also get to drink from the cup in a holy and religious ceremony.
So! Now that we all understand what's happening (nod your head, even if you don't) - a couple of points:
--We'll have to wait til Brofman has time to do the final stats/standings, but unless something crazy happened last night, it looks like Minds in the Gutter and the Dicks have a guaranteed spot in the semi-finals. You can still come and bowl next week during the Wild Card game, but it won't count for anything, unless you have some side bets, which the league fully condones.
--Next Monday is the premiere of BL Season 12. While a lot of us aren't necessarily affected, one of our wild card seeds, Sunshine & the O'Neals, is directly affected, because two of their best players, Lappy & Lil' Patrick, produced the premiere episode, and Reveille is throwing a premiere party that night. It would be kinda awkward if the two guys who produced the episode weren't there. So here are the two options before us:
--Do we take a week off next week and bowl for fun, and push the wild card game to the following week, 9/26?
or
--Do we have Sunshine & the O'Neals and whoever they're playing (probably Korpacz's Kids) do a make-up game during the week, so that playoffs go as scheduled?
Lastly, alternates! I have not forgotten about you. For those who don't have an assigned team, and would still love to come bowling and enjoy themselves, you can still bowl during playoffs - your scores will not count, but you will have a good time regardless. However - a couple of things:
--I think Steve-O should be considered one of The Dicks until Rick Shirey's injury is healed. Steve-O, you have been exonerated of your party foul, but you are now a Dick, and your scores shall count.
--Le Bunny is from hereforth an official member of All the Queens Men and her scores shall counteth for the remainder of the playoff season. I crown you Queen Le Bunny.
--All the Queens' Men are allowed to pick up a fifth-counting member of their team, since JerSean is sadly gone. Said member should be an equivalent average to JerSean. Perhaps Santa will come back to their team?
Ok! That's all I got - as soon as we know the official standings for 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th place teams, I'll send a separate email to Sunshine & the O'Neals and the team they are playing so we can decide what to do about next week.
Cock-lollies!
-The Commish
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